Friday, December 13, 2013

I said yes!

Well.  So, stuff has been happening. Good stuff.  Like, I went to visit Brian and his family in Massachusetts (which I have finally learned how to spell w/o spellcheck - yay me!) and the first night that I was there, he took me upstairs to his bedroom, told me to close my eyes and hold out my hands, and when I opened my eyes I was holding a large rock that had "Will you marry me?" engraved in it. Brian was standing in front of me, smiling, holding 2 smaller rocks, one in each hand. One said yes, the other said no.

I picked the "Yes" one.


I know that I haven't been writing much, especially since I met Brian. I think there are a couple of reasons for that. One reason is that I wanted to protect this relationship.  I don't know whether I needed to or not, and Brian would say that it is his place to protect me, not the other way around. Still, I am protective.  I have seen the damage that can be done when a relationship comes under attack, and while I don't want to dwell there, I felt like I needed to be guarded. I share my entire life, quite freely, with my closest and most trusted people.  I have learned to be careful who I trust.  Jesus once said, “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." Matthew 7:6  This is not about being snarky or bitter. I am at peace, and examine my heart often to root out any seeds of bitterness that might be there. It is about wisdom. About treasuring this incredible person that God has led into my life, and not allowing the darkness in.

The other reason I haven't been writing much lately is because I want to live these days, without the distraction of  recording them.  It's the same reason why I don't have a lot of pictures of my visits with Brian. Or of Christmas mornings. Or of Grace's school pageants. I want to be fully present for what is going on.  I want to experience my time with Brian or Grace's special moments, or even a sunset, through all of my senses. Not through the lenses of a camera. Or the microscope of a blog entry.   So I've been soaking in every moment of getting to know this amazing man, and his remarkable family.  I feel so loved and welcome, and I love and treasure these people. I only get one chance to live these things. I can always write about them later.

Brian is a remarkable man, in so many ways.  He has given me permission to write about him freely, and I am so grateful for his trust and faith in me. He is a godly man, who wants to know and follow God above all, who is humble and kind and funny and romantic and strong. He loves to take care of me, and he does it in a way that empowers me to do more than I ever thought I could.  When I am with him, I feel loved and safe, and happy. I pray that God will give me many, many years of making Brian Misner happy, in every way that I can.  

For the rest of my 2 and 1/2 week visit, at coffee shops and church and in stores and at family gatherings, Brian kept going up to people and announcing, "She said yes!"  Then he would wrap me up in his arms, and in the safety and warmth and love of his embrace, I would say it again. And again. And again.

My Zimbio