Friday, January 17, 2014

Knocking down walls

When I think of all of the struggles that I have had over the past few years, I can see that because I was desperate and had no choice but to give myself and my problems to God, He has used them to demolish the walls between me and others.

I have an anxiety disorder? BAM! Down go the walls between me and the fearful.

Chronically ill and in pain? KAPLUIE!! Welcome to the world of the suffering.

Financial difficulties? VOILA!!! Gone are the preconceived ideas about poverty.

The loss of my mother? POW!!! Weep with those who mourn.

Abused and bullied? SHAZAM!!!  Say hello to a deeper knowledge of boundaries and forgiveness.

Rejected by Christians? POOF!!!  Move closer into a dependency on Jesus, not people.

Helpless, tired and alone?  SWOOSH!!  Move into the abundant life of those who live in the power of The Spirit of God, who have strength to equal their days and who are never, ever alone.

For many, many years, the thing that I have prayed the most for is for love. Love for God, and love for others.  More love, more love, more love.  I've begged for help, wailed in pain, howled for relief and wept in gratitude, but more than that, I've prayed for love. God's love in my heart for other people.

I've prayed. And then I walked, because what else is there to do while waiting for love to magically appear in one's heart?  The thing is, the love appeared, all right. It met me in the dust.  In the pain. In the tears. In the weakness and poverty and loneliness.  It met me when I failed, and stumbled and fell.

When I look back, I see a lot of messes. But that's not the first thing I see. The first thing I see is the love.  I was loved.  And that love knocks down walls between me and anyone else who feels small and poor and alone and in pain.

And that makes me happy.

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