Friday, January 4, 2013

My 2012 Gratitude List, part 2

Normally, I would wait until tomorrow to post part two of the gratitude list, but I'm feeling really down tonight, and I need to write this now.  I need to know how much I have to be grateful for, because my mind keeps pulling me towards the things that I long for, but am missing.

So, without further ado...

8.   I am grateful for the opportunity to write about bullying, and the effects of bullying on its victims and on the bullies themselves.  I am also grateful for the positive feedback from readers who have struggled with this issue, from both sides of it. I am even grateful for the negative feedback, as it continued the conversation.  I have said this before and I mean it, the conversation about bullying doesn't stop until the bullying stops.  I am grateful for the freedom to be a part of this important conversation.

7.  I am grateful for Mycroft, our free-range cat, and Schmitty, the adorable little kitten that we were NOT going to keep - like anyone believed that.  Both Mycroft and Schmitty just kind of showed up, Mycroft as an adult who lurked in the backyard for a week watching us before deciding to adopt us. Schmitty came as a tiny, sick kitten who was literally black with fleas.  He just lay in my hands, purring, as I bathed him repeatedly and picked fleas out of his fur for over 2 hours.  Now, Mycroft is a hulking tom and Schmitty is a silky little boy.  They are both so affectionate, and Jean-Luc has adapted to them well.  Which was a relief.  Having animals in my life is a luxury that I treasure.  I don't know that I could do life without them, and I am grateful to be able to rescue these little wonders.

6.  I am grateful for all of the really special and interesting people that I got to spend time with this past year. At school, at work, in my community, while I sift through the blog posts of the last year, the one thing that stands out to me is the people.  Friends and family who have encouraged me, lifted me up in prayer, helped us financially, emotionally, spiritually, people who have taught me so much, who have let me teach them, who have made my life richer and much more interesting, who have loved me, and welcomed my love for them.  I met up with an old family friend this past autumn, and at Christmas I sent him a card with a note on behalf of my sisters and I, telling him how we all remembered what a blessing he was to us when we were children.  Just thinking about him opened the door to an entire host of wonderful people in my life, who have been in my life as long as I can remember, and who I am privileged to still be able to know today.

 I don't generally do New Year's Resolutions, but one thing I do hope to do this year is take time to let the people in my life know how special they are to me, especially the people on the fringes, those who may have had an important impact on my life in the past.  One thing I have learned is that our days are numbered, and I don't want to lose the chance to tell others that I care.  I know that at times, it means taking the chance at appearing weird, or feeling uncomfortable, but I think it would be worth it, to let someone know how important they are to me.  Every July I mourn the loss of a childhood friend, and I also mourn the fact that I never got the chance to tell him how special he was to me when we were kids, how valuable his friendship was. It's a loss that I will never forget. I don't want to lose any more chances.  Being with my Mum, getting to tell her everything I wanted to, getting to love her completely and without any barriers before she died was  an unbelievable gift to me.  It made me miss her more, but it filled my heart to overflowing, and I know that she felt my love and returned it fully.  Life is short, and my life is full of incredible people - my sisters, my dad & step mom, my best friend, my beautiful daughter, the families I work with, the people I went to school with, my goodness, the list is endless!  And I am grateful.

More later..

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