Sunday, March 17, 2013

Busy week = Crazy tired

Pic courtesy of
As of about 30 minutes ago, I seemed to have crossed the line from really tired to how-am-I-still-moving? fatigue.  Just like that. Ah, the wacky world of chronic illness.

It has been a very busy week, which my heart and head maintain is a good thing.  My body begs to differ.  I've been feeling so well lately, I've gotten used to not thinking too much about how much I do in a day.  I try to keep a balance between activity and rest, but because each day requires differing amounts of effort and my pain/energy levels fluctuate, it's not easy. I worked out several times last week, too, which wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't flaring.  And when I do work out, the exercise-induced endorphins actually help with the bladder pain. But at the same time, the exercises can shake, rattle and roll a wounded, ulcered  flaring bladder. Which results in more pain later. Bummer.

Pic courtesy of
I'm not exactly sure when I started this IC flare (click the link for more info on IC) but it's been going on for at least a week. And I think I just hit the wall.

The fatigue from this sort of thing is different than normal tired.  It's kind of like flu-tired - I feel achy, weak, shaky, emotional and overwhelmed.  By the time I hit this point, I have been trying to wind down for a few days, so all my energy has gone into my job and volunteering.  What I am trying to say is that my house is a mess.  I just kind of half-heartedly blow the dust off of the shelves and swish the dust bunnies back under the sofa where they came from.  The books are piling up on the end tables and the desk in the living room.  I don't really care too much, though.  Or at least, I am trying not to.  Aside from the mild frustration of stuff being in the way, it doesn't bother me so much. And I know that it is cool to say that I don't care what anyone else thinks.  But I do.  Honesty is cool, too.  Although, if I really think about it, I don't have that many people in my life who would get all judgy and anal about it, so that's cool.  Besides, the mop's by the door - to clean up snow puddles - so anyone who says anything will be promptly put to work.

Tomorrow I am going to take it easy, lounge around in comfy jammies and hang in bed.  I have a blog post that I am eager to get to. I found a picture of Jesus that I fell in love with. Okay, not an actual picture of Jesus. You know what I mean.  Anyway, for the first time ever, I'll be writing a post around a picture instead of finding pictures to fit my posts.  Seriously, though. This picture makes my heart sing.

So, despite the flare, things are going well.  I'll be starting a new part-time job as a secretary in my church soon.  I'm getting more hours at work.  I'm enjoying working as a volunteer with a great group of students. God is doing some really amazing things in my heart, and in my life.  It's a journey that isn't always fun, and there are often tears.  But oh, I love the joy of never being without my God, of living in His constant care and attention. I am not just learning more about Him.  I am getting to know Him in ways that I had never imagined possible.  Awesomeness!

So, blessed friends, the dishes are done, I just took a green cake out of the oven - a la St. Patrick's Day.  And it's time for a Sunday after noon nap.  *happy sigh*

Peace out.

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