This afternoon Kim and Becky are coming to spend the week-end with us.  My ex-husband, Gracie and I fostered them for a year when they were little, just two and three years old.  Now Kim is ten and Becky will be nine in July.  They come to spend one week-end a month with us, and we always enjoy having them here.  Two extra people does make our tiny house fairly burst at the seams, but as the weather gets nicer, the outdoors becomes an extra play/living room.

Last Spring, Marc, Grace, Kim, Becky and I took one Saturday morning and went into the bush for a nature trek.  It was lovely, and my Facebook account holds the pictures to prove it.  The sun was warm, and the ground was still covered by snow. We examined tree bark and leaves frozen into ice and Mini found a half-eaten leg of what probably used to be a deer and hauled it around for a while, even letting Frodo the cat have a bit of a chew on it.  Marc has such a great time, and he has spent all this Spring talking about doing it again.  Tomorrow is the intended day. It is supposed to be warm and sunny, the girls will be here, and Mini is always raring to go. 

Marc has this thing about recreating experiences.  He has two recipes, a spaghetti sauce and a chocolate cake, that he insists on making the exact same way every time.  For him, enjoying these dishes is an wonderful experience, and he wants to recreate the wonder every time.  So they have to taste the same, absolutely the same, every time.  It's the same with the bush trek tomorrow.  He has expectations for it, that it would be as wonderfully awesome as it was last year.  I just don't know.  It is hard to authentically recreate an experience, if it's even possible at all.  Add children to the mix, and it just gets that much more interesting.  Physically I am not doing as well as I was last year.  Last year I had been going to the gym for several weeks before we went into the bush.  This year, I am struggling with a still undiagnosed problem with my legs, and I can't make it up and down our kilometer long lane without limping half the way home.  Also, Frodo isn't with us anymore. 

It won't be the same.  But that doesn't mean it won't be lovely.  I think it's nice to expect something neat and interesting to happen, without the pressure of defining just what neat and interesting might be.  I am learning that the more loosely I hang onto my life and loved ones and experiences, the more I get to enjoy the sweet surprises that meet me as I make my way through the world.  I really do believe that God has plans for my life, and that they involve moving forward into what may be the unknown to me, but what is fully revealed to God.  Of course there is safety in familiarity, and sometimes it feels easier to enter into something that we know will be enjoyable rather than try something new that might be enjoyable, but also might not be.  But let's face it, our walk tomorrow just isn't going to be the same as it was last year.  And that's okay with me.

Actually, come to think of it, the last time Marc made his chocolate cake recipe, he put raisins in it.  He never puts raisins in it.  So, maybe tomorrow's wild and unexpected adventure might be okay with him, too.