Monday, December 31, 2012

Just A Thought has hit 10 000 page views!

On Saturday, the page view count for Just A Thought hit 10 000!  How amazingly cool is that?  I am humbled, and excited, and a little startled.  I mean, really. 10 000?!!

I've been writing in this blog for about four years, but the majority of the hits have happened in the last couple of years. Google Blogger allows me to track the number of page views per day, and the country the hits come from.  I love the fact that I have had readers from Russia, Singapore, China, the UK, Serbia, South Africa, Ireland, Israel, the United Arab Emirates, the Netherlands, Belgium, India, Moldova, Kenya, Mexico, Guam, Nepal, Germany, Poland, well as from Canada and the U.S.  In fact, I have been visited by every continent except for Antarctica.

I also appreciate the fact that hitting this milestone coincides with the end of 2012.  It seems a fitting time to begin the next 10 000.  I have said it before, that I am so grateful for you, the readers.  Writing the posts is just one half of the equation for me.  When you read what I have written, you complete the process.  In no way do I expect you to agree with everything I write, or with anything I write, for that matter.  I know that there are some who come into Just A Thought looking for dirt.  I've had my own words, chewed up, twisted, seasoned with poison and spit back into my face, so distorted and out of context that I no longer recognize them.   Still, it is part of the deal, that once I hit "publish" on a post, it no longer belongs to me.  It is given to others, to do with as they will.  I am so grateful that the majority of people who let me know that they are reading are encouraging and positive, even when they don't agree with me.

I think one of the reasons I am so amazed at reaching 10 000 is because continuing to write here has been a huge challenge.  It's scary.  Seriously.  It has been difficult to keep my inner censor from throwing herself off a cliff at times.  Nothing screams "What if???!!" louder than my inner voice watching my cursor hover over the "publish" button. I am learning to make honest choices about what I put here, to allow myself to be weak and to let others know it, to present myself in all my flawed glory, to let kindness and truth be my guide, and to listen to the still, quiet voice of God when He whispers in my ear, "Do you really want to post that? Or would it be a good idea to calm down first and let your brain have a say...?"

Years ago, God gave me a strong desire to "live out loud".  So much of my life had been controlled by what others think of me.  I felt that God wanted to help me challenge that fear by reaching out, giving myself to others, risking rejection in the process.  I discovered that rejection is not soul-killing.  Hiding in fear of rejection is.  Being a fool, and having others discover this, is not the end of the world.  Hiding the Light of God within ourselves for fear that our foolishness might also be discovered may just be the beginning of the end.

There very well may be people who, in reading my words here, decide that I am not for them. That is okay.  I am not for everyone.  I can't say that it is their loss. I mean, my goodness, how am I to know that? How arrogant would it be to assume that to know me is to love me?  It very well may be my loss.  It just is what it is.

Still, whenever someone tells me that they have read my blog, and liked it, I want to hug them and shine their shoes and bake them cookies and give them puppies and vacuum their carpets and sing sappy love songs and do a happy dance and smile until my face hurts.  And I want details.

I am, after all, human.

So, thank you, thank you, thank you, dear readers. For coming here, for receiving my gift of myself and for letting my voice into your world.  Thank you, dearest Lord, for the courage to be who I am here, and for the words.

Just a thought.

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