I just re-read my post from last night - A Melancholy Friday Night - and winced. I know that my goal for this blog includes honesty, but talking about how insecure I can be when I am feeling insecure is hard. Really, really hard.
I still feel that it is important, though. I know that I am not alone. I know that many of us struggle to trust others, to know who our friends are. We struggle to believe, in this world of social politeness that can veil all manner of negativity and criticism, that we are really welcome in the lives of others.
For me, the most hopeful word in last night's post was "someday". Because I know that these insecurities are not a permanent part of my life. God is always in the process of transforming me into His image, which is loving and graceful. And strong. God's strength in His people is love. I will live all my days on this earth, and never even come close to knowing how powerful and strong God's love is. Or how much power His love generates in us when we allow Him in.
God deals with my insecurities, not by trying to convince me that I am fabulous and worth loving, although I believe that He thinks this is true. God deals with my insecurities by reminding me to get my eyes off of myself, and to reach out in love to others.
So, "What if they don't like me" turns into "how can I show them how neat I think they are?" And, "What if they gossip about me behind my back?" turns into, "God, help me not to gossip about them behind their backs..." Things get easier as I stop thinking about how people might treat me, and focus on how I treat others. That's the power of love.
That's why the word "someday" is so hopeful. Someday, I won't struggle with being insecure. Someday I won't be afraid of rejection. Someday, I'll feel brave, even when I am tired and emotional and vulnerable.
Maybe "someday" is tomorrow. You never know. But one thing I do know...if you need it, God has your "someday" waiting for you, too.
How cool is that?
Something Wonderful I Found In Romans
2 years ago
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